Making new friends is brilliant we absolutely love it (read here why) but we know that a lot of people might be afraid to put themselves out there and we think it’s important to debunk some myths and show you what meeting new friends is really like.
Your friends all need to be the same age as you
A lot of people who come into citysocializer start by looking for friends who are exactly the same age. While there’s no particular issue with that, it’s not necessary for your friends to be the same age. Personality compatibility is much more important in a friendship, and as adults we benefit much more with friends who are a different age to us. Older friends have had more experience and are brilliant for advice and dependability. Younger friends bring a new perspective and fresh ideas in your life. We actually believe that the best age parameters for new friends are up to 10 years older or younger.
You have to have everything in common with your friends
It’s easy to think that you and your friends should have everything in common, like you did with your childhood friends. In reality, it is our differences with our friends that contribute to our personal growth. If you agree on everything and don’t have anything new to contribute to your friend’s life you might as well make friends with your reflection in the mirror.
You make your best friends in school/university
Some people think that they are done with making friends and they have already made their friends for live in school and university. Unfortunately school friends tend to grow up and become very different people and often you end up drifting apart because you no longer have the same experiences and beliefs. As sad as this is, you actually can make your best friends as an adult, when your personality has developed and you know exactly who you are.
There’s no friendship between men and women
That old myth that annoys us to no end. Gender is not relevant when it comes to friendship and not all people see everyone they meet as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. Some people just want to meet friends who have similar interests so they can go do their favourite hobbies with someone. Try meeting people and talking to them to find out what they are looking for. You might be missing out on some very good friendships if you don’t.
If you’re in a relationship you don’t need new friends
A lot of people tend to neglect their friends when they get into a relationship and not even think about making new ones. In fact, putting all your attention on one person, your significant other, can be harmful for your relationship. Instead, try to build your social circle at the time and make sure you have a lot of people who care about you in your life. Like the spice girls said ‘friendship never ends’.
You should see and talk with your friends all the time
You might think that you don’t have time to make new friends because you’re busy and won’t have any time to spend with them anyway. The truth is that everyone is busy and as much as you might think back to your student days, when you spent most of your time with your friends, adult friendships are not and can not be like that. That doesn’t mean you are not real friends. It just means you have realistic expectations and know you can’t go out everyday but you are still friends anyway. The important thing is to be there when they need you, not all the time.
See? There’s no reason why you shouldn’t be out there making new friends. In fact, you can only benefit from having new friends and a big social circle, so try joining a social, going out and making friends. You’ll thank us for it.