Londoners are complicated people with a love – hate relationship with their city. As such, when you meet people in London there are some things you shouldn’t say.
1. I could never live with other people, why don’t you just buy your own house?
If you want to get a look of rage and despair at the same time ask a Londoner that. You might then get a lecture on London prices and how impossible they are, so be warned.
2. Everything is so expensive, how do you afford to live?
We don’t. We survive on dreams and hopes that some day we’ll make enough money for our own place or maybe even a family. Maybe. Things are expensive, deal with it.
3. If it’s so expensive, why don’t you move somewhere else?
No. Just no. London is the best city in the world. As Samuel Johnson said ‘When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life’. We are not tired of life.
4. Are you a hipster?
Are we wearing plaid, fake glasses and have a beard and a top knot? If not then don’t ask us that. We just like matcha lattes and avocados, ok?
5. Do you like my I <3 London shirt?
Yes, it goes with your ‘I’m not from around here’ neon sign. No, no we don’t. Burn this immediately.
6. Do you know the royal family?
Of course, we take tea every Thursday. It’s very easy. You sit at home and put a photo of the queen across the table. Sorted.
7. Where do all the famous people go out?
Somewhere expensive probably.
8. Why are you still single with so many people around?
We ask ourselves the same question. When we find an answer we’ll let you know.
9. Want to meet at Leicester Square to go out?
Has the rest of the city burnt down? If not then probably not. Let’s try Brixton instead.
10. Want to go to this cool place outside of London…?
Outside? What do you mean outside? There is no outside. London is everything.
Hopefully now you know not to ask a Londoner these questions.You have been warned…